Sponsors

Jan 31 2012

Celebrate your love for someone by being able to see all their imperfections!

A month ago, I posted about Zenni’s glasses being able to make you see better. It went over really well, so now I’m back to talk about how they’re seemingly reducing their prices to make $6.95 prescription eyeglasses. What this means is that even poor people can see, which is very sweet of Zenni to do. It’s also nice that homeless people will no longer have the excuse of “I didn’t see the car” when I accidentally hit them going to my job.

But this entry isn’t about poor or homeless people. It’s about people who can be loved. Celebrate your Valentine’s day by being able to see the person you love. These are the glasses I choose to see the world through. They make my optical nerves tinge and twingle with delight while my retinas feel fantastically and fabulously festive </Courtney Stodden>

So Celebrate your Valentine’s Day by being able to actually see who your Valentine is. My friend Nikki, whom you all remember from the last post, is as blind as you can get while still technically having eyeballs. She has Zenni glasses, and she can now see. You may be wondering what she’s doing for V-Day, so let’s find out, shall we?

Bought Zenni glasses a few months ago and they have since changed my life. For one, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found out he has skin tags that I couldn’t see before. Why the hell didn’t he take those off? Is he trying to look like a leper? He had to go. So you’re asking what I’m doing for Valentine’s Day? Nothing because everyone is so ugly in Iowa. Just the other day I was at the grocery store buying milk and this cashier I recognized had arms that were covered in pimples. I thought they were just knitted sleeves before! Thanks, Zenni Optical for making me absolutely repulsed by humanity. Time to move to a place less fugly! The glasses were cheap, but I’ll more than make up for it in the cost of moving out of Iowa to a place that doesn’t remind me of Oz or Narnia.

By Rob • Sponsors • 2

Jan 20 2012

Ein Spiel spielen!

Since this site is mostly in German, I thought it would be very nice if my best friend, who speaks fluent German, helped me with this one:

Geniessen Sie diese Kartoffeln. Sie passen besonders gut zu den Kuhfladen, die aus deiner Schnauze herabtroepfeln — mit Scheiss-Sauce obendrauf!
Sie sind wohl ein Arschloch, und dieser Satz hat gar nichts mit Spielen zu tun: aber das wissen Sie wohl nicht, weil Sie gar kein Deutsch koennen. Schlappschwanz!

It translates to: Browsergame-World is very good. It’s a very enjoyable place to spend your time if you’re bored at work. They have flash games and a lot of other fun ways to spend your very valuable time.

It’s times like this when I’m very grateful for the friends I have. They can be very nice. Anyway, play some games! FUN. FUN. FUN. FUN. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND!

By Rob • Sponsors • 4

Dec 28 2011

Holiday Themed Zenni Optical Frames

If you’re like me, getting older means getting more of these two things: toilet paper, and glasses. Luckily, toilet paper can be stolen from any public bathroom. But what about glasses? That’s where Zenni’s cheap eyeglasses come into play. They even have special holiday themed optical frames to make your blindness seem a lot more festive. Don’t believe me? Well see for yourself. This is the one I’ve picked:

They make me look like a sassy little elf girl ready to help Santa bundle his toys…which is exactly what someone like me would want to feel like.

Regardless, I encourage you all to check out these glasses. If you’re blind like Mr. Magoo, or just a tragic hipster one Lifehouse song away from cutting yourself, Zenni glasses are for you. If you still have doubts, maybe a testimonial from one of my readers, Nikki, will change your mind. Keep in mind, this girl is so blind that she might as well have been born with painted grapes for eyes.

Attention people. This is Nikki. You may be wondering why I can type so well being as blind as I am. Well I got Zenni glasses. Purple ones to be exact, and not only do I see better, but I also notice when guys are looking at me in the eyes instead of my boobs WHICH apparently I didn’t know were humongous. Thank you Zenni Optical for helping me see and notice that my boobs are big. You’re heroes!

You see that? Buy some cheap Christmas-themed eyeglasses and see how big your boobs are. If you think about it, that’s really what the holidays are about anyway.

By Rob • Sponsors • 4

Dec 20 2011

Shadow Government

Online games usually suck beyond all measure. I played Cyber Nations just to have my beautiful country “Dildopia” ruined by some jerk with nuclear weapons. This is why we can never let al-Qaeda get nuclear weapons by the way. If you let terrorists get weapons, then countries like Dildopia will be destroyed, all hope will be lost and the terrorists win.

Shadow Government seems like a pretty interesting concept, where you can literally play the news.

Shadow Government® uses T21-USA as an engine for its simulations. Threshold 21 (T21) is a dynamic simulation tool designed to support comprehensive, integrated long‐term country planning. The model has been developed by the Millennium Institute and is the result of more than 20 years of extensive research and application carried out in consultation with the World Bank, UN agencies, developing country governments, and nongovernmental organizations.

T21 integrates economic, social, and environmental factors in its analysis, thereby providing insight into the potential impact of development policies across a wide range of sectors. It reveals how different strategies interact to achieve desired goals and objectives.

Essentially it’s a game that in many ways simulates real life economy, diplomacy, war, and struggle for power. You can’t say that about “Angry Birds.” Those birds suck.

By Rob • Sponsors • 5