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The Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day Tree

Today we celebrate not only Martin Luther King Jr, but all the black historical figures who made a huge difference in America’s quest for equality and civil rights. I have designed a tree with all the black people hanging from it who made this possible.

Uhhh? What the hell?!

Can someone explain this Craigslist ad to me because I fail to understand every part except the “Compensation: $60.”

Seeking long term writing partner (NY)

I am searching for a creative writing partner for a monthly text session that would occur via instant messaging, as well as emailing. The particular subject matter that I am looking to explore for this project is known as the “giantess” genre. If you do not know what that is, as long as you are open to learning then I am more than willing to coach you into the role. I would prefer if my writing partner were female.

The requirements: fast typing skill, quick creativity, imaginative, verbose, descriptive, and long-winded.

Extra information about your role: You would most likely be playing a very evil, even cliche villainess style of a character at times. To give a bit of an idea, without giving much away ahead of time, a good point of reference and example might be to consider a female version of the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. You will also be picking a celebrity actress to play this role, while I would be doing the same for any other character.

Location: NY
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $60

The internet is a strange place, and I for one am grateful. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to brush up on my lady giant persona. Her name is Brunhilda VonBustybosom. “And a fee fi fiddelly do to you too, you wicked little scamps who try to steal my gold!” That 60 bucks is as good as mine!

Here’s a little juice head gorilla action for the ladyfolk

Here is Willie Langley, the world’s best bodybuilder in action. Try not to slide off your seats, ladies.

These kids really suck at music

I’m not really sure where I wanted to go with this update, but I think asserting that “me inserting a recorder into my ass and farting would not only sound better, but would also be a lot less painful,” is a good start.

These kids suck at music. All of them. There is not one talented child in this video yet the parents are clapping it up like wind-up monkeys with cymbals. That drummer is off beat and horrible, the recorders are choppy and out of harmony, the choreography on that Asian ensemble is out of place and weird, and the saxophone melodies are boring and dumbed down to an almost unbearable extent. Why are you clapping and supporting this? Beethoven was slapped every time he made a mistake as a child, and wrote some of the most beautiful music as a result. You’re applauding kids who can barely put together “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”