P.T. Barnum had a quote about suckers, but it wasn’t about whores so I didn’t really pay attention. The point is that suckers (the stupid kind) and funny to laugh at.
A Lacey man, 81, duped out of $9,000 trying to claim the $1 million prize he supposedly won in Australia. Now he’s on the “sucker list’ getting piles of similar mail from overseas con artists. Link.
I’m am curious about this. How do I get a copy of the “sucker list”? Times are tough and this website doesn’t pay shit, so I would really like to scam some old people.
It started last August. Doyle had received an official-looking envelope with an even more official-sounding letter inside from Australia, informing him he was the recipient of some kind of big sweepstakes prize. All he had to do was send modest processing and security fees to stake his claim and he would be a very rich man.
He wrote a check, put it in the accompanying return envelope, went down to the Forked River Post Office and mailed the letter overseas. Later, there were some additional costs involved, nothing outrageous: $26 here, $19.75 there, $23.98 on another occasion.
So he wrote more checks.
A few weeks later, he reached someone about the prize on the telephone who reassured him everything was on the up and up. When other, ambiguous international money wiring and tax issues cropped up unexpectedly, he consented to giving them his credit card number on retainer.
Eleven months and $9,000 later, Doyle is still waiting for his jackpot, and he still has faith.
That is what I love about old people…they have zero clue what is going on. I have an old Apple IIe that I could sell to some old codger as a new iPhone Deluxe if I could only get me hands on that “sucker list”.
Why can’t I get it? Damn you Google. You will let me find gaping pussy porn but not a list of geriatric suckers I can swindle. What good are you?
Old people are a boon to the American economy. Why, if it weren’t for the steady flow of income they provide, people like Reed Slatkin and Bernard Madoff would be out of a job. And if we’ve learned anything from the tobacco companies, it’s better to keep an unethical and dangerous business going than force its employees into a new line of work. You don’t want people to be out of work, do you?
I honestly and truly do NOT blame those people who take advantage of morons like this. You should know you’re fucked when the AP picks up your story, mocking you in the process.