If you’re reading this, we assume it’s because you have a taste for news involving weird, bizarre, and idiotic happenings.  Therefore, this girl likely needs no introduction.

In case this is one of the stories you missed while searching for videos of women sitting on cake and farting into it, here’s who she is.

Kimberley Vlaminck had insisted she dozed off after asking the tattooist for just three small stars – then woke in horror to find her face was covered.

The Belgian blamed the Flemish-speaking tattooist for not being able to understand her French and English instructions.

Amid a frenzy of media attention, she then pledged to sue the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, for the £9,000 she needed for laser surgery to have them removed.

She said after the tattooing last week: “It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.”

Ah, there’s the magic word we look for. The one that identifies her as a natural fit for this site.

But still, shouldn’t her state of pitiable victimhood give us pause?

But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was “fully aware” of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing.

No, of course it shouldn’t.

Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: “I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist mad made a mistake.”

Mr Toumaniantz – himself covered from head to foot in tattoos and piercings – had consistently denied he had made a mistake and always insisted Vlaminck wanted all 56 stars.

He said at the time: “I maintain that she absolutely agreed that I tattoo those 56 stars on the left side of her face.”

So many levels. So many levels. Where to start:

1. This woman got 56 stars oh fuck it, I need to start this again.

1. This idiot intentionally got 56 stars tattooed on her damn face. She even liked it once the procedure was over. As we all know, individualism and uniqueness of personality can be purchased in the form of having ink injected into your skin, so I’m sure she was thrilled.

2. Her father, along with the rest of the world, thought she looked like a moron. Naturally, she then decided that none of this should be her fault, and blamed the tattoo guy–who, for what it’s worth, is likely eminently competent at what he does. The story involves her somehow falling asleep while a needle was being repeatedly jammed into her face.

But despite insisting she had asked for 56 stars, [Mr Toumanaintz] still initially agreed to pay for half of the treatment to remove the tattoos.

He said: “Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client.”

“I don’t regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity.” Mr Toumanaintz is now said to have withdrawn his cash offer and said from now on he will get written consent from clients before he begins tattooing. [Telegraph]

I suppose all’s well that ends well. Nevertheless, seeing the maxim “There is no such thing as bad publicity” carried out to this degree is perhaps the most freakish element of all.

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