Meet Mia Landingham:

Mia was recently sentenced for an…interesting…crime.  See, Mia is not a small lady.  She’s 5′9", and when she was placed on a police scale that went up to 350 pounds, they discovered that it wasn’t sufficient to weigh her.  Why was she on a police scale, you ask?  Ah, don’t worry, we’re getting there.

Our pal Mia had a boyfriend.  (No, seriously!  One who apparently was willing to sleep with her often enough to end up with three kids with her!)  Please notice I said "had."  The past tense, as will become apparent, is very necessary hear.  Mia’s boyfriend, Mikal Middleton-Bey was a much leaner fellow, standing 5′10" and weighing only 126 pounds.  (Go ahead, try to get thoughts about how the mechanics of that coupling worked out of your head.)  Mikal and Mia had a stormy relationship, resulting in a few fights (and, according to sources, "a long history of domestic abuse ").  During the last fight they would ever have, something happened .

Now, none of the news stories I have found detail anything that Mikal and Mia said during their last argument, so I’m working from pure speculation here.  But I really want to believe that the last thing Mikal ever said to Mia was, "What are you going to do about it, sit on me?"

Because that’s just what Mia did.  She sat on her poor, willowy boyfriend, eventually asphyxiating him.  Which led to one of the most awesome moments in reporting ever, when one intrepid reporter paraphrased Mia’s statements at sentencing by saying Mia "told the judge she was sorry for squashing the father of her children."  Fantastic.

While I couldn’t find a picture of him for the story, and while I do hate to speak ill of the dead, Mikal is going to be our Freak for the day.  Seriously, a little guy like that staying with a girl this size should have known he’d end up like this some day.

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