Britney Spears wrote a Parenting Guide
1/15/08
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Hi ya'll, this is Britney Spears. Alot of ya'll know me from my music and mtv. Well I wanna get noticed for my mind and experiences too. This is why I made me a guy to parenting. I love guys. And they loves me too. So we is gonna learn using our minds, and <3's.
1. That baby ain't just a child! It's a human so treat it like one! That means baths every other day!! A clean baby aint just something you buy! Its something you do! So clean that baby. Plus babys also get things called dizzies which make thems sick. Sometimes they get so sick they gets a perfection, like an ear perfections. If they get a perfections they needs to gets the your mama right away cuz she knows how to fix it.
2. After you done and gone to your mother she tell you what needs to be done! She either say "Keep the baby, Britney, he gonna get all bettuh." Or, she gonna say, "It aint gonna get bettuh, put it in the garbage can." You do one of dem things when they is sick. That what my mama told me to do with my second child "Skeeter." Now he gone now.
3. Baby or ashtray? You decide. This is the America of the united states! That gives you the right to choose! Your baby could be whatever it wants to be! Toll booth operator, singer, clown and even manager at Panera. But when they under the age of 18, you done make up their minds for them! Yous gotta choose what they be! Your baby could be whatever you wants to be! I make mines an ashtray.
4. Havin babys means havin the proper clothes to put on the baby. Babys cant go to the bathroom yet! Anyone knows that! You has to go to the store and BUY them diepurs. That means getting a job or getting the glove mint to pay for it. But clothes is a necessary. LOL imagine your baby jus bein naked all the time. Be classy, Ya'll!
5. Exerstacy is IMPORTANT. Exerstacy makes us happy. Every dummy and their mama knows that. Exerstacy is important for babys to. It makes them happy and builds them muscles. It easy to do too. Just give em a vitamin called exerstacy. Easy Peezy.
6. Finding a babysitter. Finding a babysitter is like finding the perfect husband. You need to look really hard. Sometimes weeks!! And ya'll cant just no settle on one! Like my mama sayd to me. Ya'll gotta learn to be indiependant which mean learning to live without the babysitter and have it be on its own while you go out and dance at night why it sleep.
7. Don't spoyle your kids! Don't let them push you around. If you are sitting and doing something, like exerstacizing or somethinglike that. Make THEM wait for YOU. It's important because if you do everything they say you should do like asking for food when your BUSY, giving it to them will make SPOIL them. And if you SPOIL them they become justlike they daddy.
8. If you gots to go to courtin. Babys is important. So you always makes sure you take care of your babys first. So you don't goes to courtin and they give you something called an "excstasysessnion" to appear. I don't know what dat mean, but I bet It makes ya'll happy!
9. If there is a fight. Let them see it. Its good to open them up to the real world. And the real world ain't always nice and kind like a summer day with kitties. It is hard and rought. So if theres is a fight, don't block it out from your kids.
That be the end. I hope ya'll learned a great deal from me. Lordy knows I did too. Whew. If you follow them rules, your kid will be a good person andor American. Thanks god bless and vote!
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