James Frey is an idiot, but his former fans are even worse.
March 2006
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"I'm a bad boy. Once I stole some bubblegum from a candy store."
James Frey is the author of “A Million Little Pieces.” I’m sure everyone has read the news about how he lied in his memoirs. This article isn’t so much about James Frey. He’s a douche bag, and we all know it. Actually, it’s repetitious to even call him James Frey because that name has become almost synonymous with douchebag. The terms can be used interchangeably, much like “twat” and “whore hole.” For the purpose of this article, I will refer to James Frey as “Douchebag” because they essentially mean the same thing.
Douchebag lied. That’s fine. He’s a douchebag and we all know never to expect much from Douchebag again. Everything about Douchebag is annoying. His lisp is annoying. His crybaby book was annoying (and horribly written). He is just a sad little whiny bitch. If he can’t get a job writing anymore, good. With his lisp he can do voice-overs for Sylvester the Cat. Either way he’s going to end up a pussy so he might as well be funny while he’s at it.
Douchebag was on Oprah. Twice. The first time he was whimpering like a little girl on her first period and garnering attention from all of Oprah’s mindless audience in the form of praises and literary fellatio. The second time he was whimpering like a little girl on her first period and garnering attention from all of Oprah’s mindless audience in the form of booing and literary [insert that time when you put your penis in your girlfriend’s ass and she shit on your dick].
The change was because he lied to Oprah. Now, I know you women are too busy being menopausal and not having your periods to think critically, but I just have one question:
HOW WASN’T IT FUCKING OBVIOUS TO YOU?
There were numerous inconsistencies with not only what thesmokinggun.com reported, but with COMMON FUCKING SENSE.
In one of the chapters, he claims to have been beaten up, bloodied, drugged-out, and drunk all at the same time AND STILL MANAGED TO BOARD A PLANE.
Let’s back the clue car up a little.
He boarded a plane looking like he bathed in bile acid and used dog shit to neutralize the burning. If this doesn’t send up red flags, the fact that there isn’t one airline that would ever accept a bleeding passenger on a plane might. You aren’t even asking yourself the obvious questions. What about the risk of spreading HIV and other blood borne diseases? What about the number of customer complaints? What about the fact that he looked like he needed to go to the fucking HOSPITAL? Don't you think there's a good sporting chance that at least one person in a crowded airport would say, "Hmmm, maybe he needs to go to the hospital?"
Why does everything need to be spoon fed to you before it soaks in?
You are the reason this guy is a success. His book is still on the NY Time’s bestseller list because of your attention. You made Douchebag a bestselling author more than once. How many times can you screw up before someone raises the age of abortion to even out the playing field? It’s bad enough you bitches are fueling Anne Rice. I was able to accept this for a long time. I didn't want to. But I did. I came to terms with your lack of taste and horrible ability to acknowledge good stories. I draw the line at Douchebag. I draw the line there. I hope when you housewives are gardening instead of doing real work, you accidentally dig your eye out with your trowel and choke on the blood released from your eye socket. You would’ve been more useful as an abortion.
As for you drug users suing him because he gave you false hope. Let’s face it… your life is as useless as trying to make a hooker cum with a tic-tac dildo. You are utterly worthless and sully the good names of the drug users who don’t bitch.
Hey. Why don’t we sue cable and network TV while we’re at it? I don’t see anyone bitching to Fox about their reality TV shows. They claim it’s reality TV but you know that 80% of it is scripted. That’s the only way you can explain why Constantine wasn’t voted off 20 episodes before American Idol 4 ended. What’s the difference between what James Frey did and reality TV? I’m not condoning what Douchebag did, but I also wasn't stupid enough to buy into his literary miscarriage and soak my website in blood and shed endometrium.
To you people who can’t think right: please stop reading. Except for this site. I still want you to come here. Everyday.
How long will it be till James Frey becomes a REAL drug addict?
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