Dec 16 2011
The Friday News Rundown
1. Lindsay Lohan, a known liar, bad actress, thief, alcoholic, drug abuser, and ginger wowed the judge this week by doing things she’s actually supposed to be doing. It only took her three years. Everybody is making such a big deal about this. I’ve never gotten a DUI in my life and nobody is giving me proverbial cookies and patting my back. It’s interesting how people are treating her the same way you’d treat a retarded person for doing something wrong. “It’s ok, Corky. See what happens when you pet the dog too hard? He stops moving. Here’s a cookie.” She also had her Playboy spread leaked, which isn’t nearly as interesting as it seems, which is why I put the whole “Lindsay Lohan is doing well” part first. You know it’s a bad photo shoot when I talk about people doing the right thing before I talk about their boobs.
2. Earlier this week, I discussed a video that may constitute as unintentional racism in the fast food industry. But what about intentional racism?
Two Asian-American students at University of California, Irvine, who ordered meals at a Chick-fil-A in Irvine said the cashier who took their order didn’t ask for their names. Instead, she typed “Ching” and “Chong,” respectively, on their receipts, according to Kelvin Lee, another UC Irvine student who said he is a friend of the customers. Full article.
The only way this could be more racist is if she changed one of the receipts to say “Spicy Dog” with the Dr. Pepper and a plea for them not to drive home.
3. Parents decided that it would be a good idea to pull a prank on their kids. That prank was to make out with their blind-folded children in the middle of a crowded gymnasium while someone video taped it and put it up on YouTube to be ridiculed by the entire internet.
If those kids decide to go Columbine crazy: Understood.
4. Here’s a picture of Hillary Clinton picking her nose.
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Words of Wisdom: Ask not for whom the bell tolls, I mean who really cares? OK fine: it tolls for Ben Savage.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 10:40:21
If those kids DON’T decide to go Columbine crazy, I’ll have a harder time understanding.
Dec 17, 2011 @ 12:37:36
I don’t understand how they were all so cool about it. The thought of my dad making out with me in high school just crossed my mind, and it makes me kind of want to off myself.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 10:44:00
AM I a bad person because I would bid $5 for that booger on Ebay?
Dec 16, 2011 @ 10:46:19
I’d pay 10 bucks for the finger.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:13:58
Don’t lie, we all know you don’t have $10. You spend all your money on alcohol and fetish equipment.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:23:55
You act like ball gags are cheap!
Geoff
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:31:19
You forgot Sandusky’s lawyer handing out a gay sex phone number to reporters outside the courthouse. I think that pairs nicely with the Hillary story.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:32:31
Seriously?! I didn’t see that.
I’ll have to do a write up next week.
Geoff
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:49:50
Fun fact: Sandusky’s lawyer was my lawyer for a little mistake I made in State College a few years back,
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:54:06
He’s supposedly one of the best defenders in PA. I trust you got off just fine*
*After you called that number. BAZINGA!
Geoff
Dec 16, 2011 @ 11:57:46
I might’ve if it weren’t you working the lines that night.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 12:00:21
Well the jerk store called…they’re running outta you!
Geoff
Dec 16, 2011 @ 12:03:33
It’s Christmas. I’m in high demand.
Dec 16, 2011 @ 13:30:59
TRUTH. I just tried to place an order.